I have a dream... A dream that has been obsessing me for more than 6 years now; a dream that has been following me everywhere, that blinds my sight and sieze my thoughts, that makes me seek to live and long to die.... It"s rediculous i"ve made it that far... or maybe it"s just the opposite!

        I can"t believe that there"s actually something so powerful that makes me block out all emotions, think and care for only one thing, devote all my being to it, don"t care about nothing else. But one thing you can count on - if you throw everything else out of the window, odd are you"ll go that way too.

        This is a dream. A dream about love...

        Six years ago if anyone had told me what I was about to go through, then I"d much rather I had never met that girl in the first place. Maybe it was the beauty of the summer afternoon, the smell of the grass, the singing of the birds, or it was simply the attraction of this girl - I don"t know, but something ignited feelings in me stronger than anything i"ve ever felt before. I knew what i wanted immediately and i knew I wouldn"t have rest till the end of my life if I don"t get it. It was then that the dream was born. And so it began...

       I have never been attracted to a specific kind of girls. They were always different with their individual and specific good and bad sides. And this was one of the most extraordinary thing about this girl. She combined all their advantages, everithing I liked, wished for, desired, wanted, needed.   She without doubt was the most perfect person i"ve ever met!

       I had a dream...

        Then, finally, 2 years ago we became very close friends. She liked me much, that was obvious, and it was no surprise considering all the ways at which we were alike. The storm following me for the last 4 years for the first time seemed to lose its frenzy. The ragged clouds gave way to the stars above, and i could see their reflection in her dark eyes. I remember that time when a single smile or touch of hers meant the world to me. I remember watching her lovely face shining in the light of the sunset. 
         A bit closer to Heaven. My life was fast going from brilliant to perfect. My dream was finally coming true!!!

        But dreams have a nasty habit of going bad when you"re not looking...

          Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I was doing it wrong. Maybe she was closing her eyes, choosing to see only the friend in me. Maybe I had misunderstood all the signs. Maybe my feelings meant nothing to her. Maybe she was feeling sorry for me. Maybe I wasn"t exactly her type. Maybe i wasn"t good enough.. Or maybe he was simply better than me!

            She had a dream. And I wasn"t a part of it!

            I suppose anyone goes through that at least once in their lives. But I seriously doubt anyone could understand how I felt when I saw her kissing him! It felt like suddenly the heavens fell down on me. Everything went blurry. What was clear in my life suddenly made no sense. I felt my heart desperately trying to jump out of my body, my lugs unable to take any more breath, my sight going dark, my mind refusing to concieve what was happening. 
             That girl got me just as sure, as if she had put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger!
                                                        ...................
            Somehow I never managed to bring my self up to be mad at her. Guess I"m too deeply in love. She still possesses every single thought of mine. Loginc tells me that if I"m patient then, one day, my dream will come true... Logic is such a lier!

         I was a fool from the very beginning!!! How could I have possibly thought that I have even the slightest chance with someone so amazing like her! I lived under the illusion that I might be lucky. That she would look deeply in my heart and see all the love I kept for her.

           This is my dream!

          I"ve been in love with this girl for the last 6 years now, and it won"t stop here, I"m sure! Because this is all I have - just that love. I will live in this dream till the end of my life, and in my dream she"ll be mine forever!!! 

..maybe you just weren't the right guy for her...(I'm not telling the One, because... hm.. I'm not sure I believe in the One anymore...)...

But keep dreaming! Dreams are what keep us alive, right?

Just have in mind, don't try always to find the logic in something (although I'm doing it myself all the time..) ... And someone has told me once that Illusions never change into something real...

I'll keep that in mind!
Благодаря за коментара! :)

;( Мноо тъжно ми стана аз теб! Дано да си си намерил вече някоя, която наистина те залсужава!